(Im generalizing. Suddenly his explanation changed from claiming he hadnt said it, to having said it but Id completely misread the whole thing. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Yes! A nice surprise: in each episode of SmartLess, one of the hosts reveals his mystery guest to the other two. (@SpaceandPurpose) Beautiful day. All excuses, brain-washing, and influences melted away. Emotions came but I shoved them down and started thinking through examples he might be referring to. I just listened and I want to know too. For some reason, he threw on a fake New Jersey accent and waved his hand flippantly as he said, Yeah! ), (There were too many blinders on at that point to recognize that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs testing the patience of myself and the person Im with. Just before that, though, I had been on my piano playinga Chopin Etude Id been assigned my very first year in college, as a wide-eyed homeschooler walking into classrooms for the first time since elementary school. 1. They pointed out how it was technically inaccurate because it was taken out of context. Calabasas is a quiet, well-to-do California town often referred to as "The Bubble.". Me. I remember early on in our relationship, he handed $20 to a homeless person we walked by and later told me he kept 20 dollar bills in his pocket at all times for those exact opportunities. S1 E7: We're Done, I'm Running, You're Insane, S1 E9: Unencumbered by the Weight of Women. It makes no sense to outside observers; it can even appear counterintuitive to fight fear with stillness. It was a miraculous instance of God opening the eyes of one of His own whod been deceived into choosing a dangerous situation. Not just for us, but for those that hear our testimonies, I think it looks like freedom. Especially women. Our minds are incredible in their design when it comes to trauma. If I was upset, hed wind up saying, maybe I did ___ to you [yet to be proven], but YOU did ____, ____, and ____ to ME!. The first round back in 2015 started with breaking down my fences, telling myself the truth, and exploring whats on the other side. 00:02:56 - When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. There was a particularly dramatic night where he was driving up for the weekend, and my roommate and I were in my car on our way back home to meet him with movie night snacks. Hope: the day light broke through the trees and warmth poured in. Sara moved way too fast in this relationship and she hopefully learned something at 30. He would shed actual tears when we would sit together watching movies or just cuddling on the couch, and I would think geez how damaged are you that this moment means this much? Something in my gut turned. Bravery is a choice of action regardless of fear being present. I believe the story from The Year that is No More is not my own. When you decide to publish (or share your story in any public way), what was once personal and private becomes open for discussion. In your creativity, couldnt you have put togetheranything else rather than humans who would constantly fail you and be unable to manage anything well on their own? My countenance fell and everything shifted. What a messy time to be alive.). Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. *Content warning: Substance Use Disorder, emotional abuse, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, workplace abuse. Not a fan. Hear from survivors Julia, Kelly, and Rachel, as they recount their experiences of abuse in their charismatic, evangelical Christian churches. When I saw Something Was Wrong in Apple's "Purple Podcast App" (as Lindsey Chrisley always refers to it on Coffee Convos), I thought I'd listen to one episode just to see what it was about.It was previously an Audiochuck production, but is now part of Wondery / Amazon Music.. With a Wondery+ subscription, episodes are ad-free which really makes listening to podcasts enjoyable - and fast. His toxic work environment was taking a toll. Even fears of those tightly-held dreams of having a family or significant other not happening or being shelved. Audible $0.00 Amazon Music $0.00 Free Listen Now No membership required Tens of thousands of podcasts Listen in the app or on any Alexa device Listen with Audible App All Episodes (162) That dude needs major help. It doesnt have to impress anyone elsewhich I wrestle with. Season 9 features the story of two survivors, Danielle and Kenji, who were brought together by traumatic life circumstances to solve a shared mystery who the f*ck is Ardie? We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. Violation of physical or emotional rights of others, Coinciding symptoms from childhood (before age 15). As all of this was hot and fresh, my godmother sat me down and formally requested that I read a book called Captivating by John & Staci Eldredge. Hed research and educate himself on whatever it was so he could talk about it with me. A cornered narcissist will spin you up in so many words that youll forget the origin of the conversation, forget your own point, and somehow end up at fault for something you still dont understand. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. It all makes sense now , She's a hun and still doesn't realize that religious beliefs are what made her her vulnerable here. I felt sick to my stomach and wish Id reacted differently now, but at that point my discernment had faded and I deferred to him. Since 2012, MTV's reality series Catfish has taken us through the murky waters of online dating by investigating relationships and exposing the people who lie about their identities. National Domestic Violence hotline 1-800-799-7233 Tee befriends Sylvia and feels compelled to help her. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. Welcome to a spiritual war. For the first time, I ignored this person and put it in the cart without even knowing why, because I never buy prints. This season, 11 incredible survivors share their stories of shocking life discoveries and the recovery from them. He also called people out and shocked a culture by giving women a voice. Literally the only podcast other than Bloody Happy Hour Podcast that I have listened to every episode and I cant wait each week for the newest episode to drop! Its the only explanation, and the overarching joy in my freedom is a testimony to what He wants for all of us in a world full of stories like mine. I was just over here trying to plan a wedding in 3 months determined to do it with a fraction of a normal budget. Ok thats wild fast! I'm sure this was a neon sign for my abuser. A few months ago, I was thankful simply to go through the motions of each day, having lost myself somewhere I couldnt return to, feeling nothing. In todays episode, I interview Holistic Psychotherapist, Isaac Smith, MAT, LCSW, NTP to discuss why leaving an abusive relationship safely is important, the cycle of domestic abuse, creating a safety plan, resources available to all, and how others can best support those in an abusive relationship. Seriously, DONT. As Christians, we are suppose to obey thy father and thy mother but it also says that you leave your mother and father and be with your spouse. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. but decided on a whim to got back to season one and listen to Sara's whole story. To let Him tell me its ok to feel anger, and, surprise: learn about His anger on my behalf. Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. There used to be a grating feeling in my gut that I was destined to attend womens luncheons and exchange flower pots until a young single pastor arrived and gave me my purpose. Rather than beating a dead horse, taking time to figure things out has helped solidify the ground beneath my feet. I might be crying and feeling like dead-weight a lot lately but hes MOVING for me, and juggling everything ELSE he does! If you could see what I see. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.. I am a multi-disciplinary maker of beautifully useful things that enrich lives. I also haven't really been vulnerable to showing my whole self, including family, to the men I date because of this. I think she is fortunate to have a plain-speaking family that are only wanting her to have a happy marriage. If you are not interested whatsoever in chemical-free living or getting toxins out of your home products, dont click the Young Living tabs. This is not a place to promote your podcast. This is my neighborhoodanyone know his name? (Genesis 1:31, paraphrased.) Its fine! Me a little smaller than before. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. There are a few reasons why, but one of the most problematic is the host both explicitly and implicitly stating that abuse is a gendered phenomena always in the direction of males abusing females (including in non-physical methods of abuse). Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher. Its still happening. Her family is AWFUL!! Gratchki 4 yr. ago. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. Their pain is still painted in subtle strokes across their social media posts. Our convictions are woven tighter and our testimonies grow more powerful. My mom still references the night she and my dad told us they were giving us money for the wedding. And her family is definitely extracan you say ENMESHED PARENTING.but to each his own. S1 E15: Safety + Coping Strategies for Leaving Abusive Relationships. When my story is released to the public, in all its true-crimey-ness, Im thrilled to know that it will ultimately point to the miracle He did in rescuing me. My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. Find similar podcasts. Pretty dang quickly. Somehow hed known this comment would get under my skin. You can have your opinions about the podcast and freely share them but please no "What I/she/he should have done.." narratives please. God didnt design humans, then sit back and say We done good because before Him stood a gaggle of filthy wretches. Hot, fresh fury colored my entire day in a way I couldnt shake as easily before. Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show Latest Episodes [Diana] The Devil in Disguise New Episodes First E S15 E5 Feb 23, 2023 1 hr 9 min Play with Wondery+ (Sounded exactly the same, but I will remember to flail differently right here if it pleases you.). Something Was Wrong is an award winning docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Its a lighthearted nightmare in here, weirdos! Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. My brain hurt and I wondered if Id found its capacity when I was informed that it was now time to change the physical look of my hands while they were doing the impossible. That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? I've been lucky enough to design experiences, lead . I kept asking myself, how did we get here?. I just started listening, so I haven't gotten to the wackiness about the boyfriend, but the sister is A LOT. You in the beginning.. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) | Something Was Wrong. One moment his extended family was super close in a way I could never understand. In the next, it wasnt worth visiting them because they were going to kick the bucket soon. Update. If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks then look no further. If for some reason you always walk away from time with someone feeling like you have a lot of self-work to do instead of feeling bolstered and encouraged, take heed and maybe put your running shoes on. (I dont know if Im ready to post my thoughts on church leadership that encourages anyone to remain in an abusive marriage. thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. Id feel uncomfortable with the insults hed quickly throw at people crossing him, and embarrassed at the lack of Christlike character it showed. But she is, self admittedly, in a bubble when it comes to her upbringing and her family. (Including but doubtfully limited to: texting me as 2 friends (a married couple with kids) that hed completely fabricated since week 2, and seeing other women at the same time via different dating apps than hed said hed been on when we met. Mind blowing. Just forcing myself to share the good, badand ugly because it does coexist, but all bad, ugly things make Gods goodness shine brighter in contrast. If you can never get enough true crime Congratulations, youve found your people. On a small scale, Ill do a mental scan of my upcoming week. Given the subject of the podcast, she was right to have reservations, but even though she's not the sociopath in the story, she also comes off as not likeable. S1 E1: There Were No Red Flags. The verses right before the ones I shared: v.10: For as the rain and the snow come down from Heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; It shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.. I get being close with your family, but man goodness, cut the cord already. 2022 Find Your Voice, All Rights Reserved. Hear from survivors who have never before agreed to share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? So He can enjoy us again as shimmering reflections of Him as we were in the beginning: beautiful and unashamed. *Content warning: sexual, physical and emotional violence involving children, childhood abuse, sexual abuse of a child, rape, child sex abuse materials, human trafficking, and suicide. Rather than bottle everything up and ruin our lovely afternoon together, I shouldve communicated better in order for him to simply explain so we could move on. 64.2k Followers, 178 Following, 52 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) Time together was marked by trying to keep things positive and having some damn fun for once.. And if youre hearing Saras story for the first time, wellyoure in for a wild ride!Show Notes:Something Was Wrong Podcast (Saras story is Season 1)Follow Sara @spaceandpurposeFollow Kaitlin @kaitlingraceelliottFollow SWE @so.what.elseKaitlins Website. Used fake people to pressure a woman to marry him? For years, my MO has been to sit back and wait before acting. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. I was telling friends I call my special ops that I was amazed by how different our first conversations were. I have nothing to lose by sharing His story but maybe some pride, which I have to kill. Scripture says we were crucified with Christ and are new creations. We were at Blue Bottle in Oakland when he called someone fat out loud well within earshot of that person, and I began scanning the doors for my exit strategy. Just started #SomethingWasWrong season 5, & it's people sharing their experiences from toxic churches/modern Christian cults& more & more I'm feeling led to write a book about my own 5-year journey in what was essentially a cult, how it damaged me, & how I finally broke free. Your confusion and brain fog could very well be the result of cognitive dissonance caused by your brain attempting to sort out two opposing realities. (My piano teacher would laugh at that now because of a comment I made about it while facing each other from across two grand pianos.). I was simply drawn to it. Recommended by media. https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 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